Thursday, January 06, 2005

Why Conduct is the Heart

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Why conduct, so taken for granted, is the heart of faith, just as James says.

I can't explain, any more than Tristan could. Here is a stab... I believe that we as a species live in a world of doubt but the doubt is secular, not religious. There is probably much *less* religious doubt than people think -- even if the faith is heterodox and scattered and probably doesn't do as much good to the believer as it could -- but a much wider secular doubt than people would admit to having. By secular doubt I just mean confusion as to what you are supposed to be *doing*, both at this particular second and with your life as a whole. I suffer from huge amounts of secular doubt but no religious doubt at all. However, the secular doubt seems to be enough to kill me by itself.

When the father in Mark says, I believe -- please heal my unbelief, he really has a foot in the two different kinds of belief and unbelief. Not does God exist, but what impact does he have. Or what impact can I have upon him.

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My need from church is not lovely music and a well-spun sermon. I don't even need Jonny Baker's worship tricks. What I need is help getting from Monday through Saturday as a Christian. People affirm their belief on Sunday but when they need counseling on Monday, they don't seem to mind going to a complete agnostic for practical help. I feel sure that the church should be engaged in practice, that practice is its deepest worship -- if prayer is really a form of action and a cry for change.

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If conduct is one's heart, the expression of one's heart, then certainly my heart needs a drop of lubrication from a tin man. Please offer me a sermon that is not just a ride in an amusement park, letting me off at the exact point where I got on. I want to change! I am not the only one.

I can barely help other people when my own soul is damaged.

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